Believe what you want...

I recently made a huge mistake.

Yesterday morning, I was perusing the right column of highlights of my Facebook Newsfeed when I spied something that made me groan in disgust.

The item in question looked much like this:


...except the thumbnail was much more disgusting than crabs of any variety. The tiny picture was of Kathy Griffin >spits on ground in disrespect<, and the gut-wrenching text beside it held two links. You know the ones. One proudly informed me that 2 of my friends are fans, while the other was an offer to Become a Fan.

I felt obligated to find out which two of my "friends" had such disparate taste in entertainment than most of humanity, let alone me. I was mentally preparing the snarky quips I would fire at them once I discovered their identities, all the while hoping it wouldn't be somebody I only kinda knew from, like, my obscure Susky past, or something. I was really hoping it was someone I could go a few rounds with and trade jabs with about how bad Kathy Griffin >spits on ground in disrespect< is and how much I disagree with anyone being a fan of hers.

So, with my mind racing with really mean things to type out at a couple of the Fans of Kathy Griffin >spits on ground in disrespect<, I accidentally clicked the "Become a Fan" link instead of the "2 Friends" link. We now go to the feed of The Tauz's inner monologue at that exact moment...

Fuck.

Me.

In the goat ass.

Really? You just did that, dude? REALLY? And now all of your smartass friends will leave comments about your newly-proclaimed love for this terrible, terrible woman. Really. See above expletive phrase. [end inner monologue feed]

Now, this is not the first time I've accidentally made this same mouse misfire. The day before this very incident, I intended to see who among my online buds was a fan of "Being on a Boat", and inadvertantly became a fan myself. I didn't want to be in that Facebook club, even though I am a fan of The Lonely Island. But I left myself among their number until I found out how to remove myself. So there's precedent, is all I'm sayin'.

But back to the debacle at hand.

What followed was an interesting amalgamation of reactions: The Helpful, The Mocking, The Wrong, and couple of The You're an Idiot but I Love You Nonetheless.



My responses:

Thank you, Dawno. You're a true friend.

The only nudes I take are classy and artsy, Wit, so I think that plan would backfire and she'd beg me to stay a fan. The threats might do it, but I like traveling on airplanes un-molestedly.

No, Liz. No I don't. What a hurtful thing to say. Frowny-face at you.

Not a chance, Mr. Park, right-side guitarist for Pandas. I's loves yous guys.

Autumn, you lie so hard that you poop lie-colored doodies.

This mis-click made my Top Ten Regrettable Moments of My Life, Tony. You were right to scorn me.

I hope this makes you laugh, Dana: Poop!

Abby? I was honestly not surprised that you were one of the "2 Friends" that got me into this mess. Grr.

Sentiment appreciated, Liz H., but please spell check before commenting next time. (I'm a spelling/grammar jackass.)
-----

So those people took the time to comment, but the harshest of all was the damning blog post over on The Love Show, online bailiwick of my boy, Tony. I know he has my best interests at heart, but, man! Did I disappoint him? Let's just see...

BOOM.

Oucha. But you know what? He's right. Even though I un-fanned that sub-D-Lister the same night that I hit the wrong link, I am forever tarnished. I'll start scrubbing now, but I don't think it'll make a bit of difference.

I mean... you believe me. Right?

Triple Entry!

This is like three posts in one. And if I were better at blogging; if I were dedicated to the blogger lifestyle, I would have posted these as three separate entries over the next few days. But no. This, as you know, dear readers, is not a mere blog.

Nay. This is The Tauz Blaug. And this, mofos, is Blaugging, not blogging. So strap in, cuz this one goes from church to the comic book store to the movies, all with seamless transitions. Also, I've revived an old-school technique for this entry. It's called "I didn't put in any pictures". Just some leafy text for ya. There is, however, a tasty, poetic treat at the end for you, if you make it all the way through. So get ready to CHOKE IT DOWN, folks!

As you, The Tauz Blaug Faithfuls, are accustomed to hearing during this time of year, Retreat preparations are DOMINATING The Tauz's free time. For those of you who don't know, I have been going on an annual 5-day beach trip to Lewes, Delaware with my church's Youth Ministry every year since 1993. So, this year will be my SEVENTEENTH RETREAT. I am pretty sure that I hold the record in this little microcosm for the Most Retreats in a Row, but I might be wrong. Either way, I'm pretty proud of my streak. (Insert obvious poop joke here.)

So, to say that Retreat is a big part of my life is a bit of an understatement.

Naturally, in the month and a half leading up to this trip every year, there is a period of planning. We have a couple of meetings, come up with activities that go along with the theme that the kids picked for that year, and we make sure we have ways to keep 30-some teens busy at the beach. (I'd like to take this opportunity to sternly remind you to knock off any sexy-pervert comments you might be forming at this time, you cynical friends of mine...)

Some years back, I fell in with the crew of JCs who were in charge of putting together a slideshow of fun memories to be shown during Retreat. It has always been quite a project, and the year that Duff and Mark took over the YM from Sally and Pat, (three or four years ago, now) I took the reigns of the Slideshow. In doing so, I have transitioned the YM into the digital age. Instead of using an actual carousel and slides being manually changed to the rehearsed rhythms of a mixtape soundtrack, we now use Final Cut Express to edit a "digital short" sketch which then leads into a long stream of digital pics flowing to a soundtrack of multiple songs, and then is exported as a QuickTime movie and played on a laptop which is hooked up to a projector and shown on a white sheet on the wall in the retreat house. It's pretty sweet.

The stress levels this damn project has pushed me to in the last few years have been epic, but my friends and I always get it done in time and I've never been disappointed by any of the products we've put out there for the kids. The friends who have helped me, especially Dan (a.k.a. "Double-D") and Brett have seen me at some of my worst, most frustrated and flustered moments, but they always helped me pull my shit together. I want to thank them, and everyone else who's ever lent me a hand on past slideshows for their patience and friendship. (Ew! The Tauz gets gooey!)

They also get to hear me fart a lot, in the process. (There. Feel better, now?)

So that's what I've been doing for the last couple of weeks: working on Slideshow '09 with Brett and relative newcomer Vinnie. It's moving along well, and I'm less stressed about it this year than I have been in a long time.


I haven't really taken much time to do other things lately, at least not pop-culturey-type things. Since TV went into hibernation for the summer, I've largely weaned myself away from that idiot box. I have become addicted to Facebook, but that happened immediately after I joined up.

Comics have been very good lately, which makes me even sadder that I'm skipping WizardWorld, Philly this year. Green Lantern and the GLC are gearing up for the massive War of Light, coming very soon, and I'm completely stoked about it. If I *were* going to Philly this year, I'd DEFINITELY be shopping around for a deal that could cheaply net me t-shirts from each of the 8 Lantern Corps.

Also, I followed almost all of the Battle for the Cowl crossovers, which dealt with Bruce Wayne's death/disappearance, and who in his network of crimefighters in Gotham would step up to take his place as Batman. And even though Joe and I agree that Bruce will probably resurface in a year (which is when the new Batman and Robin is slated to end it run), I'm still really enjoying myself by getting to know the Bat-Universe better than ever, even if it is in its new, Bruce-less state.

A couple of weeks ago, when I discovered I had no subscription books to pick up at the Comic Store, I looked into some trades. Luckily Joe was there to re-suggest that I pick up Villains United, which introduced The Secret Six to the DC Universe. Basically, it's a band of loser villains that team up to fuck over the rest of the bad guys who are all teaming up to super-hose the heroes cuz they're pissed that the Justice League crossed a line. And normally that would be just another ho-hum storyline, but in the able hands of Gail Simone, this story is really, really damn good. I read and re-read this trade. That never happens, but it was so good that I took the time to go through it again. I plan to read the rest of the Secret Six trades after I pick up a copy of the Infinite Crisis trade. Also on the "Trades To Buy" list is We3.

With all that comic book stuff being said, here are haikus about the four movies I've seen in the theater so far this summer:

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Super-sucky flick
Damn unfulfilled potential
You ruined Deadpool

Star Trek
Let's reboot Star Trek?
That dude from LOST can do it...
HOLY SHIT! It's great!

Terminator: Salvation
Didn't kill franchise.
Decent, for an action flick.
T2: still the best.

The Hangover
Funnybone: Tickled.
End photos nearly killed me.
Galifianakis.

Heh... Video-"Log"...

So, you'd think that I'd be hard-pressed to find something that could follow that stunning piece of media above, but my first clip is more than equal to the task. First up is something that fellow IUP-er and Green Lantern fan Mike R. brought to my attention via Facebook. Whoever took the time to piece this together is The Truest of Fans. If only a GL movie could be as good as the fictional movie that is being 'promoted' here... I get chills when they start reciting The Oath.

TOP. SHELF.



Elvis Perkins in Deerland perform "While You Were Sleeping" on Letterman. Thanks to Rick S. (from my Susky days) for suggesting this artist for my consideration. I find this to be an excellent performance and song. Hope you enjoy, as well.



Have you heard that Everyone Poops? Well, I nearly pooped a little when I was (mis)informed that Spike Jonze was making a movie based on the beloved kid's book. The straightforward little tome holds a special place in my heart because I received it from Big Bro Mark and his wife as a present on my twenty-somethingth birthday. The report of the movie, though, turned out to be just a rumor. It was spawned by the video below, which is merely a clever spoof on the trailer for the upcoming "Where the Wild Things Are" flick. Still worth a peep, tho... (I wonder if Jonze will adapt "The Gas We Pass" instead. He can borrow my copy of that, too, if he needs reference material...)



The following clip was shot the morning after my poor flatmate, Molyneaux, woke up sicker than all hell at like, 4 or 5 in the morning. He then proceeded to hork so loudly in the bathroom that it woke me up. And, being the vomiphobic bastard that I am, I both felt bad for him and hated life for the rest of the day. I was worried I'd get as sick as he had gotten, so I opted against showering in the same bathroom where he had been all morning, yookin' his guts poor, poor guts out. When the time came to head to work, I threw on some clean manties, grabbed a hat, and curtly shouted "I hope you feel better!" on my rushed way out the front door. So I was unhappy, paranoid, tired, grumpy, and smelly when Joe picked up a Flip camera and decided to capture this moment for the ages.



I thoroughly enjoy the above clip because, for anyone who knows me, it's hard for me to keep a straight face for longer than a few seconds, but there is no effort behind this particular stare. I'm not holding back any mirth, and that should be an indicator of how bad things were at that moment. It's really funny, looking back on it. At the time, though, I was clearly not a happy camper.

Moving on...
I. Love. Pandas. Here is an old song of theirs that they no longer play, but I truly enjoy it. For the lyrics and a better explanation than I can provide, read the info that Conor provides on the video's YouTube page. Most of the video clips are outtakes from things he and Jordan have made into some very entertaining sketches, and their outright goofiness in the video clips give the gruff lyrics some genuine tenderness. Dig it.



When Aaron, a friend of ours, needed to make a video for a class presentation, a few of my friends invited me to spend the day with them shooting this for him. Conor deftly cobbled the clips together and gave him this to show his class. Despite the video, he passed the assignment, and now, he reports, his entire class is always saying, "Faaaaantastic!".



And now, here's a NSFW contribution to hilarity. Thanks to Jordan for reminding me that the guy who made "Washington" is still funny as shit.


And finally, this is dedicated to Sis-in-Law Terry, the Tauziest of The Tauz Blaug Faithfuls (but don't hold that against her...it's only by marriage). She will definitely appreciate this one. Remember, back in the day, when we played this during Poker Nights at my old place, thanks to Molyneaux's video discs? He rules for finding this Pokemon video cut to the ever-frenetic sounds of the band Mindless Self Indulgence. Best Part: *Motherfucker!* You'll know it when you hear it...

iGameNight

I started this entry on March 16th, two days after my last post on The Tauz Blaug. It was also two days after the most recent Game Night, which puts it right in line with a rash of Blaug entries that I'd been CRANKING out in a frenzy of Blaugging activity. I then stopped writing this entry because it was time to sprinkle in some pictures, and I stalled out.

Hard.

I always seem to lose my rhythm at this point in the Blaug-writing process. It's all that copy/pasting code bullshit that kills me. Guh. So, here it is, two months late... Better late than never? I dunno if that's always true, but what the hell. Enjoy anyways!

---

You may have noticed an uncharacteristically large amount of posts being published here on The Tauz Blaug lately. For a while, my goal was to get you folks five posts a week. To that end, I was successful for a week or so. But at what cost?

See, I've always been a bit of a procrastinator, as well as a proud night-owl. But when I tap out a Blaug entry, I tend to do it in the late evening. And my never-satisfied revisionist self hardly lets me get to bed before 2am on an evening when I am finishing a post. So, if you follow the logical conclusion that I'm leading you to, I didn't get much sleep for several nights in a row, so that I could post several nights in a row.

Such a consistent lack of sleep, coupled with trying times at work and my sad diet all added up to me feeling like utter shit for a few days. Then it really hit me Thursday night of last week. I wanted to finish my Watchmen review, but I just couldn't stay up another night like that. Plus, I wanted to try to get some sleep so I could start feeling better for the upcoming Game Night with The Workies.

But when I awoke on Friday morning, my tonsils and throat had become ablaze with the fires of illness. Disregarding common sense, I plodded in to work and proceeded to drag ass all the live-long day, feeling feverish and totally gross. At the end of the day, I hit the hay after tossing back some Nyquil pills to help me with what I thought were sinus symptoms.

When I woke up multiple times during the night, sweating, I thought I should maybe head to the doctor's office in the morning, to get some help. So, I went, got looked over, and the doc concluded that I was his third case of Strep Throat that he'd diagnosed today. It was only 10:30am. Not a good sign for York County nor The Tauz...

So, with little Bryan and Clarkie scheduled to be roaming the rooms with us at Fourhman Estates, let alone the dozen other grown-ups who'd be there gaming, it was with a heavy heart that I decided not to attend the Game Night that I'd scheduled for everyone.

I was very, very, very upset.

I really look forward to these gatherings. And I was totally stoked about this one in particular, because this was the first one since Tony, Melissa and Bryan had moved to Philly. So I was missing out on good times and good people.

But, remembering that Joe (of the Internet's fourhman.com) was a major voice in my decision to purchase my iMac, I thought maybe I could iChat in on the fun of Game Night. After a couple of disheartening failed attempts to connect, SUCCESS!! They set the iChat up on their laptop and perched me upon the counter between the kitchen and the living room, which is where all the action on Game Nights goes down. Here's how my Game Night unfolded, thanks to screen-grabs from my iMac.



First screengrab successful! Ahoy, Sadowskis! When I "arrived", they were stuffin' Bry's face fulla good stuff, parent-style.


After feeding, the terrifying Ginger-Headed Monkey-Monster adorably attacks the laptop! Seems like the cute creature wanted a bite of the Cinnamon Twist that was on the screen, and, sensing that his potential prey was in a weakened state, decided to seize the opportunity to capitalize.


After that close call, Tony sat down to have a chat. Behind him (from foreground to background) are Mike (Anna's boyfriend), Anna, Abby, and Joe. Not pictured are Melissa, Bryan, Clark, Joe's friend Mike, Witmer, and Rhonda. I have no idea what game they're playing, because I was too busy basking in the glow of most of Tony's face.


I heard kids in the background at one point, so someone was good enough to point me at the kitchen floor where Clark and Brian were having a grand ol' time on their playdate. Awesome.

Also, this shot revealed that the Hand-Rolled Sadowski Irish Potatoes were being devoured as usual. I immediately demanded that at least one be saved for me and brought in to work. Joe promised nothing, but I did get to scarf up at least two of the love-filled delights when I returned to work the next week.


Mike was trying to talk to me like a normal person, but I don't think I heard a word he said because Tony was secretly in the background, pretending to lick Anna's boyfriend's nipple. Hilarious.



To whom does that finger belong?!? Normally I'd say Joe, but he's in the shot. Then I'd normally guess it was me, but I wasn't in the room, per se. The hand's too old to be a young, rebellious Clark or Bryan. Maybe it was Abby? Wit? Mike? Melissa?!?


Joe is indicating where Tony's poop comes from. Also his ideas.


Over the three- or four-hour span of my cyber-visit, there was a lot of this: Me watching them play games which I could only kinda see. Is that Little Big Planet? Cuz that game is awesome.


Tony and I were discussing Watchmen and this his how we decided to best describe Dr. Manhattan's omnipresent dong.


Whoops! Poor Witmer spilled a glass of soda on the carpet right in front of the gaming area in the Fourhman Estates Living Room. I saw The Spill happen and I must admit that I laughed quite a bit. One of those not-funny-but-it-totally-was-cuz-I'm-not-there-in-person things, I guess.


Abby pulls an amazing "Calvin on Picture Day" Face next to Bryan and Melissa.


Joe looks like a dog who just heard a fart across the room.


Abby looks down on me. =^)


I share a Tender Moment with Witmer, post-spill incident.


Abby shows me that she's eating either a corn flake or a corn chip. Enthralling! Entertaining! Blurry!



Tony playing some Samba de Amigo. Hey! Quit showboating for your friends and mind the ceiling fan, jerkball!



Zombie Clown or Clown Zombie? Discuss...



I had to use the potty, so I jotted "BRB" on a pad and propped it on my chair. When I returned, Abby and Wit had put up this picture of (I think) Abby's dogs in response to my away message. Heh. Tricksters!



When iChatting, this is what you look like when you are reading IMs on your screen. Just a Public Service Announcement for anyone with a web cam.



Here, Abby is enjoying a slice of the Game Night staple-food. She's eating it in front of me so as to taunt me about how great it is to eat gluten-filled food.



Having had her fill of pizza and jabs at me about being sick and gluten-intolerant, Abby departs, completely satisfied.



The Sadowski Train was pulling out of the station, and with it went all remaining players. They all bid a fond farewell, and took off.


But they left the iChat window open. I was lonely for a bit.


Joe finally came back after having shown the guests out and prepared a bed for his buddy Mike who was the only gamer left at the house. We laughed about how I would still be down for more gaming if I were there in person. However, I was sick and NOT there, so I decided to bail, too. Even though I would have preferred to game in person, this video proxy version turned out to be pretty damn cool.