Ben Folds is Not Merton

The following is an incredibly delayed response to
this.

The first time I watched the following video...



...I only thought the guy performing was Ben Folds for a total of like, 10 seconds. Then I was immediately all like, "Nah. That ain't him." Didn't sound like him. Didn't really look that much like him. And the setup was way too low-rent to be him.

Now, don't get me wrong... I love what Merton did! I have re-watched that clip multiple times and I'm entertained each time. Good stuff! Merton puts me in a "Thumbs-up Situation"!! I love that he had no idea that <3 = a heart, which led him to sing about the number three a bunch. It shows off his naive charm and innocence, which puts him at odds with the majority of chatroulette's habitual users (A.K.A.-shady guys who want to show you their dicks). So, even though Merton is not Ben Folds, he is pretty great.

And then THIS was brought to my attention:



Now THAT'S the Ben Folds I know, love and easily recognize! Sooo good. I really wish I could have been in the crowd for that performance. Actually...FUCK that! I wish I were Bobby!! (Although it's more likely that if somehow I were one of the people featured in this video, I'd more than likely end up being "BAM".) I love the nervous/disappointed groan that goes throughout the crowd when "BAM" starts to tilt his webcam downward, dangerously close to revealing the true nature of his pants situation. It hilariously demonstrates just how tired of/used to seeing dicks the crowd is at that point in the night.

Ben Folds is a creative genius.

And upon further investigation, I found the following clip that super-confirms what I already knew from before...



I think it's awesome that Mr. Folds thought that a friend was texting him about some random woman named "Shah-roo-lay"! And, for the record, I also enjoy the band Travis.

So, thanks for the interest in a topic outside of your expertise, dawwg. I did my homework and brought you an answer, via the Interwebs (even if that answer was, like, two weeks late). AND you duped me into draupping a Blaug post on the world for the first time since January... so I hope you're satisfied!

=^]

Misinterpretations

As I was browsing Facebook on the ol' iMac the other night, this ad appeared, just for me!

Oh, FB... you think you know me, but you are just a heartless machine-bot. First of all, I think Valentine's Day is complete bullshit. Second, (and more importantly) those doofy, monochromatic mammals aren't the kind of Pandas that The Tauz <3s....

It's THESE Pandas that get me goin'. Their music inspires me to do funny dances in public and make faces like this:



Also, I'd like to reassure everyone that I am not having a seizure in this picture. Nor am I "Powering Up" or "About to Go Super-Saiyan" (though the latter has been a dream of mine for some time). No, this photo is just a snapshot of a mere mortal in the middle of having a great time, jumping around to the wacky, upbeat awesomeness that is Pandas. Thank you for your concern, though.

You should totally come bop with me at a live show some time! I'll definitely try not to kick you while I physically express how happy this music makes me feel...

Boy! I sure tuckety-tuckered myself out that night at The Chameleon Club! Thanks, Pandas!

The Tauz is on The Phone

Well, THIS certainly happened:



Immediately after I took this picture of myself, I wondered, "How, exactly, have I arrived at this point in my life?" You know... the point where I'm innocently giving myself a shampoo mohawk in the shower, and I am then compelled to reach out of the shower and grab a device with which to snap a picture of this quirky, never-before revealed whimsical moment. How did I get here?

I can mostly blame it on the aforementioned device.

See, my life changed on October 3, 2009, when I traded in my old garbage phone for a brand new iPhone 3GS. My 'desktop' looks like this:

Having one of these things is like having a fuckin' superpower, man. I'm telling you! I have to make sure I use it for good, and not evil. I now carry with me a tool that enables me to act on my every impulse. It's great...and dangerous.

It's great because I now have less of a reason to be lost at any given moment. If I am blindly driving around Lancaster, trying to remember for the millionth time how to get to Rte. 30 from the Chameleon Club, I can now pull over and bust out my phone, and it will guide me from my current location to my desired endpoint.

It's great because at all times I carry with me a stopwatch, a personal planner, an iPod with external speakers, a video camera, a photo camera, a dictionary, a notepad, a portable game, a coinless coin-toss, a fake light saber, and THE INTERNET. Also, a phone.

It's dangerous because I now have instantaneous access to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, iTunes, and Google. The ease of connection tends to pull me out of reality a tad too often sometimes. I find that it is causes me to be distracted by cyber-reality while I'm doing real-life things with real-life people. Honestly, though, if I catch myself checking FB in the middle of a person-to-person conversation, I stop myself as much as possible.

And although I do use it primarily as a Facebook/Twitter port, it has been way useful in other quirky and fun ways. One of my favorite (free) apps is Shazam. Despite being morally opposed to its blatant abuse of a piece of DC Comics history, it's really cool... If you hear a song you like, and don't know who it is, you boot Shazam, hold it up to the music, and it will identify it for you. It also brings up links to videos of that song on YouTube and the iTunes store, if you want to purchase it. Shazam is also great for settling disputes that start with "OH! I know this song! Who is this?"

On that same token is the IMDb app. For instance, say you're watching a movie --for argument's sake, let's say it's Smokin' Aces-- at home in your living room with a roommate and you think you saw Chris Pine (dude who played Captain Kirk in the new Trek). And you're all like, "Was that Chris Pine?!?"

...and your roommate is all like, "Nah, I don't think so."

And you're all like, "No! That was totally him!"

And then you can whip out your iPhone and boot the IMDb app and look up Smokin' Aces and find Chris Pine in the cast list and be all like, "That's TOTALLY him, Conor!"

And then you win at movies. GAME OVER.

Also worth mentioning is the Google Voice app. Boot it, hit the button on the screen and speak what you want to search for, and Google voice recognition does the rest. It's pretty fuckin' sweet. I heard about this one from a FB status update from Micah (from my days at Susky), so thanks, dude.

And the last app that I'll mention is the "Is That Gluten-Free" app. You may not find it as helpful as I do, but I find it pretty calming that I have a go-to reference for food selection. And if it doesn't clarify what I'm looking for, I hit that Google voice app, right-quick for a second effort. Good stuff.

I could go on and on about the awesome apps I've found, but you can check them out yourself at the App Store.

The Tauz Phone has me texting more, because the full keyboard makes texting bearable. But I still don't text enough to spring for the unlimited texting feature, which disappoints only a few people who text me a bunch. I still argue that more people should get back to AIM instead of texting, since the app is free, and there's no limit on IMing on your phone, thus making it a total no-brainer. But that solution doesn't seem to work for everyone. And those people for whom it doesn't work suck.

Or they don't have iPhones. Which is NOT the same thing as sucking. Because iPhones are expensive, as are the monthly plans that go along with them. Erg. But if you can afford it, I suggest ponying up for one.

I got mine the week before I went to Homecoming '09 at IUP with Eep, and I went nuts with it. I was takin' pic's and videos and posting them to Facebook right away. It blew me away. And now I'm even better at it.

Joe (a fellow iPhone-haver) and I were driving back from getting comics over lunch last Thursday and we passed this truck with an... interesting family business name on the side. I immediately reached for my pocket and Joe immediately complied by pulling alongside the truck so I could snap the pic. I posted it right away, via TwitPic, which posted it as my FB status, as well. It was great. Here's the pic in question, in case you missed it.

Now, all of this greatness is... well... great. But I'll bet you're still wondering why the fuck I took a picture of my shampoo-hawk, aren't you?

Here's The Tauz's Official Explanation:

I really like using my iPhone as an iPod because of the external speakers it has. I can play music wherever I am, which I find to be a complete win. And I've always liked having music on while I'm showering, but I've had zero to little success with shower radios in the past. So, now that I have this little contraption what plays the music-like sounds, I tote it along with me to Showerland, and set it on the windowsill right outside my shower while it plays my favorite tunes or one of my Pandora (another awesome, free app) stations. And while in the shower one morning, I gave myself a shower-punk temp-'do, and I was all like "I wonder what this looks like!" This is natural, since, being near-sighted, I've never really gotten a great look at any of my Shampoo-Spikes before, since most mirrors are located farther away from the tub than my vision allows me to see. So I was all like,"I can totally snap a picture of this and check it out!" I struggled with the ridiculousness of doing it, but then just went with it and captured that image for eternity.

Now, as I mentioned at the start of all of this, I wondered how I'd reached this point in my life. But then I realized how incredibly ridiculous I was being, both because of the current state of my hair, and because I'd just used some sophisticated technology to do one of the most childish things ever. And instead of making me feel like I was a harbinger of humanity's impending doom, this action conversely made me feel great, actually. Because this is exactly the kind of shit that people do with tech like this. I'm using my phone to be exactly what I am, as a person: an incredible goof. This picture is solid proof of that.

I just wanted to share that with you guys.

Besides... that pic gives a new meaning to the term "steam-punk", eh?

Pandas Explodo Lab--GO!!

Let's catch you up on what's been happening with your Too-Cool-to-Blaug Protagonist!

The end of August was... interesting. Molyneaux and I parted ways with our apartment, but neither of us had any idea where we were going next. He is currently sort of in State College and sort of in Shrewsbury (long story).

I, on the other hand, am back in York.

And the astute ones in the crowd quickly ask,"But, dude? What do you mean by back in York? Weren't you living in York the last time you updated your dilapidated little online journal-thingy, here?"

Um, yeah. About that? Heh...

I had to move back in with my parents for a month.

Now, some people might think this would be torture. But I get along with The Tauz 'Rents pretty well, so I wasn't expecting it to be a bad experience or anything. It just put a tiny ding in my pride. But, all in all, my return to Cellar Dwelling was quite temporary, partially comforting, and totally free. Even the nasty sinus infection I had for almost the entire time I was living there didn't make the overall experience a bad one.

After a month had passed, my next (and current) place was ready to be moved into. So now I'm shackin' up with Jordan and Conor, my buddies from So-Yo-Co who are 2/5 of Pandas! And even though I occupy the smallest room in the house, the unusual setup here at The Pandas Explodo-Lab has been working pretty well, so far. The amount of hugs I get every day from these guys is unsettling! (I find getting no hugs daily to be unsettling.)

I say unusual setup because, my room is quite tiny. Here are some pictures I took, to show you just how small it actually is, so you know I'm not just exaggerating like I do constantly, all the time.

The view from outside my door


The view from in my doorway


The floorspace between my bed and The Non-Bed Wall


The view from The Closet Corner


The floorspace at the foot of my bed


Don't get me wrong--it's completely livable, and, actually, rather cozy. But it is almost literally a BED ROOM.

As you can see from the photos, I was able to squeeze a couple of shelf units and an area rug in there, but the bed is pretty much the main feature. But there are definite upsides to my minuscule quarters. For instance, I have no room to leave clothes lying around, so I am forced to be at least a little more tidy than usual. I have a bathroom pretty much to myself, just a few feet outside of my room. And I can't foget the brand new ceiling fan. That thing is pretty tits. They installed it just for me, and it is now the new home of my Monkey Bells!

Respect the Monkey Bells


But since my room is so tiny, my desk and computer are in the Very Long Living Room.

The Tauz Auffice


How wacky, right?!? About a fifth of the Very Long Living Room is dedicated to being my "office". (And for the record, only two of those longboxes of comics are mine.)

The rest of the Very Long Living Room


(First of all, Respect The Pawpaw Wade Anvil.) And I'll bet you're thinking that the lack of privacy would kill you. But for me, it's actually pretty cool. I can hang out with people while I'm cruisin' the 'net or type out a Blaug entry while watching Jordan play a video game that I'll never enjoy playing myself. So that's workin' out pretty well for me.

After having lived here for a couple of months, we decided to have a house-warming party this past weekend. A whole mess of kickass people showed up and warmed our place right the hell up.

I only took a few pics, so here they are!

In preparation for company, I made time to decorate my cubby hole walls and shelves with my girl-repellent brick-a-bracks!



Also, there were people visiting! Below are Greggy T., Calvin, Aaron and Jordan, bein' all up in the Living Room. We were happy to see Greg, as he now lives in Jersey, and we miss him. Calvin and Aaron live much closer than Jersey and I suppose we were happy to see them, too.



My dear friend Molyneaux and his Lovely Lady Catie also were in attendance. Here's how Molyneaux chose to salute his hosts for the evening. (To be fair, that's how he always salutes us. Also, we usually kinda deserve it.)



This group of hooligans was playing cards in the Dining Room for a bit. They are (L-R) Engler, Brossman, Big Cal and Autumn. We played a calm and fun round of Mau. I'm pretty sure it was the first round of Mau that has ever been described thusly.



This guy and his mustache were there. I hear he plays in some band. (The guy... not his mustache.) Oh, Mr. Parkinthepark. You do gesture so oddly, sometimes. But you are fun!



Now those people from the dining room are in the kitchen. BritBross was gettin' all hand-talky and shit. The Calebs seem entertained.



Mere inches away, I am cornered in my own kitchen. I was okay, though, since I was sporting my R.I.P. Henchman #24 t-shirt. Engler's shirt, was also in the kitchen.



At one point, Bruno was playing on our home theater system in the aforementioned Very Long Living Room. There were a ton of people watching said movie with great intent and loud laughter. And then there were these guys. Conor, Big Bro Mark, and Witmer were all hangin' out in there, too! Note the unsure face on BBM's face as he caught bits and pieces of Bruno from the far end of the Very Long Living Room.



Maybe it's not his kind of humor, but I was really happy to have Mark-o stop by and chill with his kid bro for a while. It was also very awesome of The Wit to come and hang for the evening. I'm glad he got to geek out with my musically-inclined flatmates, finally!

We were really glad that there were a whole bunch more people who came out to spread the cheer that night, even if some of them didn't make it into the pictures. I hope a good time was had by all. I know I had a blast. And I continue to have a blast living here. We are a weird little trio, but the circumstances are good, the house kicks ass, and we all have gas. A lot. So we have stuff in common. Which is nice.

Now... about those hugs...