Weekend Warrior

I love sleeping in.

There's nothing quite like it. Using most of a day to rest is really quite satisfying for me. I love when I am able to wake up at noon....and then roll over and sleep for another half an hour. I don't know how I am still able to do this, but, damn! I'm really glad I can.

Most people grow out of this phase, but I have been blessed. Most of my friends and family have lost touch with their former college schedules, but I embrace it. Long gone are the times when they could stay up 'til 3am doing stupid shit or when they could ignore the clock when they roll over and see that it's 10:30am. This brings a tear to my sleep-filled eye.

There is only one entity responsible for this sad state of affairs. J'accuse, Corporate America!! The blame lies squarely on the shoulders of The Man. He has eaten their 'stay-up-late-stamina' for dinner, and then moved on to devour their ability to sleep past 7am (or earlier for some!) for dessert. Without the demand that each workday start at some redonkulously early hour, we could all remain snuggled in our cozy little beds for just a bit longer, dreaming our own pleasant little dreams until whenever the hell we feel like getting up.

But no. Jerks make us get up. Wrenching us cruelly from Dreamland with the sounds of those damn alarms. ERH-ERH-ERH-ERH-ERH-ERH-ERH--SMACK!! Ugh. So that we can go and do the bidding of the professional world and make another dime to stow away for another day. Gross.

I'd rather be sleeping in my bed than at my computer just before lunch, am I wrong?

Now, some may try point out the downsides of sleeping in. There are those who say that dozing past a certain hour of the day ruins the rest of the day, calling it a "waste of a good day". I ask you, this, then: How can you qualify a day that I spent doing something that I fully and completely enjoy, which is also healthy for me, as a wasteful day? I don't diss on you for going out and playing some sort of sport or something for half a day, do I? (Unless it's a friggin' stupid one like hop-scotch or polo...with those poor horses...)

Another anti-sleeper argument is the one that says that sleeping past noon "kills productivity for day". To this I say: stay up later, dickhead. Go do the stuff that needs to be done before those non-24 hour stores close, then go hit the other stores after-hours. I get just as much done on a sleep-in weekend day as I would have if I'd gone to work during that day instead... Granted, that's not saying much, but you get my drift.

And then there are those who say sleeping in is just a sloth-like characteristic; one which is strongly associated with lazy bastards. To this I say..."Shut up, Dad! You're not the boss of me anymore."

"By the way, Pop, can I borrow ten bucks? You know I'm good for it..."

So my whole point is that during the work-week I'm a pseudo-slave to the grind just like the rest of the world. But during the weekend, you'll often find me fighting the good fight. While others all around me are dropping the ball, I'm stayin' strong. I'm in it to win it. I'm living the American Dream:

I am sleeping the hell in.

(So don't call me before noon on Saturdays is all I'm sayin'.)
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One of my favorite sleep quotes:
"Man I love sleepin'... I wish I could wake up so I can go back to sleep."
Which crazy Adult Swim character uttered this wisdom?