The other day, I was at work, just minding my own business, being slightly bored and unexcited.
But then, suddenly, Joe (of www.fourhman.com fame) popped his head in to the edit bay and said,"Hey, chum! You look slightly bored and unexcited. I have just the thing to cheer you up! It's Free Rita's Day, and I know how you love the tasty ice treats that they vend. Would you like to jaunt down the street with me to take advantage of this event? We've been looking forward to it ever since last year's was such an exciting adventure! Whaddya say?"
And with that, I grabbed my coat and hat and off we dashed...
While in the car, we reminisced about last year's Free Rita's Day. We shared a laugh when we remembered what a fiasco it had been. Having been rookies last year, we'd made a key mistake in the planning of our outing. We'd forgotten to take into account two important details, which ended up costing us dearly. We hadn't considered the massive crowds of our fellow greedy-ass capitalists who crave free things (especially free food). We also didn't think about who would be flooding the streets and seeking out sugary snacks around 3pm on a weekday... I'm speaking, of course, of the dreaded school kids. Last year we got to Rita's right after the local schools let out. That caused an unexpected change of plans which stretched our quick Rita's run into an extended work-break.
As Rita's came into view, Joe and I shared another raucous chortle. "Not this year!" we yelled in perfect unison, smiles adorning our optimistic faces.
Our smiles only grew larger when we saw exactly what we had hoped for when we'd departed from the office at about 11:30am: NO LINE! We were so proud of ourselves. We trotted on over to the window area and waited for a moment before a worker poked her head out of the window. She looked a bit frazzled. Then she barked a rhetorical "Why am I so busy since we don't even open until noon!" Joe and I exchanged glances of the "Oh, shit." variety.
Those glances changed quickly, though, because the worker, apparently continuing her current thought process, provided herself with an answer that was the most obvious to her: "Are you all on your lunch breaks?"
There was silence.
Then the two customers in front of us said that they were, indeed, on their lunch breaks, and had limited time to spend here. It was at this point that the worker assumed (incorrectly) that Joe and I were in the same boat. She then muttered something about not even having all of the flavors out yet. So, feeling a pang of guilt for our misleading omission of the not-being-on-lunch-break thing, we said we'd just take two of whatever she had readily available...
...which turned out to be Green Apple. 
This flavor happens to be a personal favorite for me.
I soon discovered, however, from the look on his face that it was not one of Joe's favorites. 
Once in the car, we started chowing down. Joe made it official by declaring that Green Apple is not a flavor that he usually enjoys. I felt bad, but the Free Rita's in my hand found a way to cheer me up... 
Not only was it delicious, but it looked so happy to be fulfilling its destiny by letting me devour it...and I didn't even have to pay for it! 
When we arrived back at the office, we shared with co-workers the good news that it was Free Rita's Day. We also bragged about having been among the first of the millions to receive our treats that day. Many were jealous, but all were intrigued by the idea of free food. Although I was still riding high on the adrenaline from our encounter at the counter, I still couldn't shake the feeling that Joe's experience was less ecstatic than mine.
As I was shoveling the neon-colored snack into my mouth, I must have been a bit too enthusiastic, because I somehow caused my spoon break. Undaunted, I stayed in it. 
Joe was happy to have participated in such an auspicious (and free) event. Here he is, showing off his proud accomplishment. 
I, too was proud of myself. It was damn good.
And so ends this noble tale of two co-workers in search of free food in the middle of the day, without any lines. The monotony of the day had been broken, and the appetites for lunch had been primed; all while costing us nothing but about 15 minutes out of our day. 
If that's not the greatest way to celebrate the memory of Benito Juarez, then I don't know what is!
The End
