Believe what you want...

I recently made a huge mistake.

Yesterday morning, I was perusing the right column of highlights of my Facebook Newsfeed when I spied something that made me groan in disgust.

The item in question looked much like this:


...except the thumbnail was much more disgusting than crabs of any variety. The tiny picture was of Kathy Griffin >spits on ground in disrespect<, and the gut-wrenching text beside it held two links. You know the ones. One proudly informed me that 2 of my friends are fans, while the other was an offer to Become a Fan.

I felt obligated to find out which two of my "friends" had such disparate taste in entertainment than most of humanity, let alone me. I was mentally preparing the snarky quips I would fire at them once I discovered their identities, all the while hoping it wouldn't be somebody I only kinda knew from, like, my obscure Susky past, or something. I was really hoping it was someone I could go a few rounds with and trade jabs with about how bad Kathy Griffin >spits on ground in disrespect< is and how much I disagree with anyone being a fan of hers.

So, with my mind racing with really mean things to type out at a couple of the Fans of Kathy Griffin >spits on ground in disrespect<, I accidentally clicked the "Become a Fan" link instead of the "2 Friends" link. We now go to the feed of The Tauz's inner monologue at that exact moment...

Fuck.

Me.

In the goat ass.

Really? You just did that, dude? REALLY? And now all of your smartass friends will leave comments about your newly-proclaimed love for this terrible, terrible woman. Really. See above expletive phrase. [end inner monologue feed]

Now, this is not the first time I've accidentally made this same mouse misfire. The day before this very incident, I intended to see who among my online buds was a fan of "Being on a Boat", and inadvertantly became a fan myself. I didn't want to be in that Facebook club, even though I am a fan of The Lonely Island. But I left myself among their number until I found out how to remove myself. So there's precedent, is all I'm sayin'.

But back to the debacle at hand.

What followed was an interesting amalgamation of reactions: The Helpful, The Mocking, The Wrong, and couple of The You're an Idiot but I Love You Nonetheless.



My responses:

Thank you, Dawno. You're a true friend.

The only nudes I take are classy and artsy, Wit, so I think that plan would backfire and she'd beg me to stay a fan. The threats might do it, but I like traveling on airplanes un-molestedly.

No, Liz. No I don't. What a hurtful thing to say. Frowny-face at you.

Not a chance, Mr. Park, right-side guitarist for Pandas. I's loves yous guys.

Autumn, you lie so hard that you poop lie-colored doodies.

This mis-click made my Top Ten Regrettable Moments of My Life, Tony. You were right to scorn me.

I hope this makes you laugh, Dana: Poop!

Abby? I was honestly not surprised that you were one of the "2 Friends" that got me into this mess. Grr.

Sentiment appreciated, Liz H., but please spell check before commenting next time. (I'm a spelling/grammar jackass.)
-----

So those people took the time to comment, but the harshest of all was the damning blog post over on The Love Show, online bailiwick of my boy, Tony. I know he has my best interests at heart, but, man! Did I disappoint him? Let's just see...

BOOM.

Oucha. But you know what? He's right. Even though I un-fanned that sub-D-Lister the same night that I hit the wrong link, I am forever tarnished. I'll start scrubbing now, but I don't think it'll make a bit of difference.

I mean... you believe me. Right?